Mills’ Bar Room Brawl

I so hate going to Gurney. Each time i’m there, I will surely spend like i’ve never went  shopping before.

But i had a rather bad week. Some fussy clients and shits. Not going to elaborate much, but let’s just say i’d rather feed myself to dogs than having such fussy clients.

Also, don’t forget i lost Rm200 bucks to the ATM.

So, a retail therapy is a 100% success rate for anger management. I blew RM600 on cosmetics alone. Mom’s gonna kill me if she finds out!

I really prefer Bobbi Brown to M.A.C. I’d like to think M.A.C is for teenagers; it’s more hip, whereby Bobbi Brown is more exclusive. And more expensive.

I bought my basic foundations from M.A.C.

And the brush, concealer, corrector, lip gloss, and eye shadow from Bobbi Brown.

B.B’s powder puff is so mesmerizing. I don’t want to use it for novelty purposes, but well, i need a powder puff more than a novelty.

But i fell in love with B.B’s foundation powder puff. So i made Emily ‘pinky swore’ that she’ll buy the foundation (yup, for the sake of the powder puff…by the way, the powder puff is next to my maybelline (i still use Maybeline lah) mascara. Cute kan?).

So, no more shopping for me. I am getting more expensive for my own good.

And oh, my credit card has arrived.

Time for global business.

Oh, i’m so in love with Peter Pan!!! Is the song from the Indon film "Ungu Violet" sang by them? Gosh, that was good too! What is so great about Indon songs are how poetic the lyrics are. Just listen to Melly’s songs and you’ll know what i mean. Malay songs suck because they aren’t poetic enough.

It’s a new day today. Had my coffee, cleaned my room, reply my emails, writing an essay due this week.

By the way, i’m in this Creative Writing class conducted by this American lecturer who also happens to be an acclaimed author in Malaysia. Check out www.silverfish.com. The name’s Robert Raymer.

I like his approach in class. I really do. I did not attend his lecture last week and he sent me an email. Other lecturers would probably threathen to bar me from exam and blow my ass to fucktown, but he was different. Did not even mention about barring me and things like that. Here’s the mail:

Emilia,

I enjoyed your letter to yourself, and I was just wondering what became of you?  Hope I didn’t scare you away (I wasn’t real friendly when you came to my office just before that first class but I had a lot on my mind and I was running late, but I was impressed that you took the trouble).  I used to have a problem with way too many students and end up with 29-32 per class.  So I give that tough speech about too much work etc etc. Two students did drop because they are over committed this semester — I met with both of them to make sure they were dropping or switching courses for the right reasons, and they may take the paper next semester. I did talk another student from switching courses to one that really won’t benefit her, and she’s glad that she stayed. Another student added so including you we have 23 students, a nice number.  From your letter it sound like you’re going through some transitions; I have feeling this course will be good for you.  (One student even came up to me after class yesterday to thank me for making her keep a diary — she had written several entries already while waiting for classes.) By the way, John Donne wrote No man is an island. To get caught up, the topic for the next class is:  A scary/ghost story — 500 words and typed.  I’m not collecting it but I’ll be pointing out some things I want the students to look out for (and take out) in their stories (and other things to add) which we’ll do in class.  It’ll be less messy if it’s already typed.  (We did some editing today on some sentences I had passed out on Tuesday)  Finish reading through unit 1 and look at Reading Supplement (7-17) — we may or may not get to them.  Hope to see you on Tuesday.  If you want to see me about this course, feel free to drop by.  Robert

Things are looking up for me this week…’Tis..:)

Mills’ afterthought: if you guys think i have a crush on Mr.Raymer, sorry lah, he’s in his fourties ok?

Ladies and gentlemen, I am ready to step forth and admit my gullibility.

I forgot to take RM200 from the ATM last week.

I am so sorry!!!! I know some of youse are already labelling me "Stupid!" but i have to take it like a lady; admitting my mistake and putting the blame on someone else.

Well, I blame Emily, for always coming up with great gossips or great interesting topics whilst i’m laying my digits on the ATM. We talked and talked and we walked away without taking the money.

It happened last week, but it took me 8 days to finally tell the world. The first person was Am. Alah…Am, no need la to keep it a secret. I’m sick of running away.

And Shidi, if you’re reading this, please keep your fucking mouth shut. Aku tak nak dengar any lectures. I’m pretty much ATM savvy now.

And now i’m 200 bucks poorer but well, lesson is learned.

That is sure one expensive lesson!

I refute my last posting.

I went out with Sherry and Linah and the three of us hit Starbucks, sitting there, drinking coffee, and i let myself loose and Sherry witnessed what she didn’t see back in campus.

Well, my uni friends always thought i was the mild-mannered, Penang kia.

For fuck sake, i wore the same jeans and the same shoes everyday for three years!

*I’ll keep the details if you don’t mind, but if you know me back before the turn of the millenium, then you’ll know*

So, when she saw me all glammed up that night, I’m sure she thought i have changed in the period of three months. What a bummer. It is actually sad the fact of who i was wasn’t unveiled to her back then and she had to find out this way.

Yesterday, I sat myself down and we talked; Me and I. It wasn’t entirely pleasant but as i manage to unearth deep inside of me, i figured out something i long wanting to recognise but couldn’t due to lack of observation and always standing on the receiving end.

I haven’t change.

I just had a lot of catching up to do.

That’s a huge difference.

Take it from me. Not from someone else.

I don’t even remember being 21.

When all of youse were out having fun, drinking and making out at the back of a Buick, club hopping until the bouncers throw your ass out, having sex with multiple partners from one end to the other, hitting the road, getting to know new people, breathing in the air from a different environment, i was stuck doing what i did best; studying.

Yes, i’ve been a hermit for three damn years and it’s time for me to catch up.

Now, if you don’t mind, i have some bitching to do….:P

I wonder if i’ve changed? And i wonder if it matters anymore, being so fucked up.

Someone said changes are good; changes help shape your character and open up an otherwise narrow mindset. Changes give you something new and an extraordinary sense of fulfilment, the true meaning of being alive, the reason of life being here itself;

Changes.

But, i guess there’d be some reckoning. There’s a Yin to any Yang, just as  Bonnie has her Clyde. It is what the Chinese cosmologist deemed as a natural action that maintains the harmony of the universe.

So, my going through changes (i call it quater-life crisis) is only natural, right?

I’m glad i’m not running on empty.

Thanks to these people who keep me from the edge every second;

Mummy! (The queen of my heart, who lay out rules and guidelines in the most conservative and orthodox of ways)

Mili (My twin sister whom i have never managed keeping a secret from, my confidante, the "busy bee" version of me)

Arif (what can i say? 7 years and you’ve yet to know the real me and my wantings, but that will do because i love you budak gemok!)

Dora (I love you since your post as my "interim" desk mate after Shereen left in form 4…cayang hang sesangat!!!)

Linah (without you, three years in campus would be unbearable!)

Shidi (my counsellor [sorry la aku slalue tak ikut cakap hang] and my Jamie Oliver. This guy can whip up crazy ass great lamb chop, naked chef’s style. Salud!)

Aminah (to whom i regret not spending time with during my varsity years. Been running around in circles ever since….cayang hang jugak!!)

Nizar (who will always be the same courteous and charming boy i grew up with…always)

Sherry (who kept me company in Linah’s absence)

P’s: I will never change, at least not entirely. I’ll still be the crazy, sweet, charming, courteous, adventurous, amorous Mills. Zetsy!

I recently found out two things; I could be a quack and straight men are capable of turning gay too.

It all started on a lazy Sunday morning. Idora, Mimi, Emily and I were talking about this guy we know that goes by the name *Zack. Zack seemed so promising; good looking fella that rollerblades well, good sense of humor and all in all, the type of guy girls wouldn’t mind fighting over. The type of guy that could make even Liza Minelli feels pretty.

Unfortunately, that was the tip of the iceberg.

10,000 feet below the surface, he’s a lazy son of a gun who earns his dime by picking dumb girls to finance his hobbies.

Penang is small, you see, so pretty soon, the female population knew of his tricks and trades, so they steered clear off him.

That was last year.

Yesterday, we found out he’s dating a gender confused "bapok" (i refused to be politically correct. Anyone offended, just sue me!).

All the anal sex didn’t do him any good. Number one, rectum is our body "dustbin" so it will never be clear of bacteria and shit (literally). Number two, men-on-men sexual tyrst will only spell STD and nothing else.

We also heard he now passed blood in his urine. *gasp*…pretty fast ain’t it, considering the queer pair just started off a few months back. Must have been humping each other an awful lot.

Curiousity got the better of us so we went online and did our own diagnosis.

Result: Zack has Hepatitis A.

60% at least.

I have nothing against queers and transgenders. Just don’t walk around passing venereal disease and the likes.

Also, be aware of STD.

Wear condom.

It’s only 12 bucks per box.

What’s a 12 bucks compare to transmitting STD.

And from another man’s anus, for crying out loud!!!!!

After months and months of fly ass procrastination, i finally visited the saloon and went thru the ritual of hair trimming chopping. Yes, i’ve never wear my hair this short before (i think you can call it a "bob"), so i had to like, find hairstyle tips in the internet on how to wear a "Bob" (why do they call it a Bob anyway?)

At first, i was appaled by its grotesque hairstyling (my mom said never to blame the barber cause i have this weird square shaped head), but after two days, curling it and restyling it is fun! I can wear them in 55 styles now.

Not to mention it looks good with my Mrs.Pitt baby T…hehe

(pix 1 :the Mrs.Pitt Baby T)

Friday was the registration day in the campus. Everyone i’ve met were so friendly and amiable. It must have been contagious, coz i’ found myself smilling to an awful lot of strangers (i don’t usually smile, i leave the Miss Congeniality bit to Emily. Afterall, she’s in PR, I’m in writing). Not to mention the officers were nice too. We shared a light joke while keying in my details.

And can anyone tell me why the hell everyone i’ve met and talked to in the University ground thinks i’m from Sabah (or Sarawak or Kalimantan, for that matter? I don’t remember wearing loincloth!!!). I mean, it’s been going on since my first year. Initially, my guess was maybe i look chinese but i speak good BM, since most Chinese speak rotten Bahasa, as if our national language itself is a verbal disease. Manglish, or heavily accented and grammar-all-over-the-place kinda Bahasa are not languages or even creoles, they are throat diseases!

My two cents : Train your tongue, speak good Bahasa. Don’t let it out of your mouth like an uneducated prick simply because the majority hates BM. This is not fashion, this is not trend. it’s stupidity on display.

Oh, back to the subject. I’ve long given up correcting people that I am not from Negeri Di Bawah Bayu, but from Penang who love speaking in the local dialect (the hang and the pronunciation…Rock on!!!!) and love laksa and rojak to the bottom of the periuk (the mention of the word in italic is intentional, not to show the Malay side of me, but because i forgot the English word for it. I don’t subscribe to Pottery Barn).

Oh, Sabah Smabah…Jusmine once told me Sabahans are hotties. The land is full of ‘em. Maybe i’ll find myself a jejaka Sabah to rub lotions on me…*lol*