Mills’ Bar Room Brawl

In light of the recent death of a jogger from Sungai Petani , the late Miss Chee Gaik Yap, i’d like to propose to the government to allow Malaysian women to carry gun for self defense.

Yes, it has come to this.

Gone were the days when women could walk around in the broad daylight without a smidgen of fear. Now those sadistic vultures feed in broad daylight, and worse, they act in group.

What could this cute pepper spray i saw selling in the supermarket do to protect me? Apart from causing temporary blindness, i’d still be a ‘lauk kenduri’ should there were 6 of them.

Karate chop won’t help if 4 of them overpower me.

Yelling for help won’t do squat, trust me.

If i’ve got myself a .32 calibre gun, all i’ll do is whip it out and shoot them between the legs, John Wayne style.

I’m serious about this. Women should carry gun for protection. We must attend shooting lessons, we must be given a license, and  we must undergo full mental evaluation proving us fit to carry guns without subjecting civilians to harm.

We have the right to walk the street without any fear.

I cut my hair, gave it some bangs and mantained the same lenght.

Hair Impression is really cool. My stylist, not only he’s a real looker, he washed my hair for free on top of that! Well, after some flirting of course. I can’t help it. He’s so cute!

Cute notwithstanding, his sexual orientation is by far debatable. Of course it’s not fair to say all hairstylist are gays because all things considered, most metrosexual men aren’t gay but they sure do look like they turned their back against the very process that gives life, no doubt.

I hope he’s straight. All 6 feet and armani jeans of him.

He was oozing with sexual charm at an alarming rate when he was massaging my scalp and washed my hair with tender loving care(?) I swear my mind was thinking of something we only learn in standard 6 behind the dumpster. If somehow some twisted miracle emptied out the entire salon, i’d take him then and there.

This is not the usual me talking, really.

Ha ha

I’m planning to keep him as my personal stylist.

Sorry Eddy, you gotta share him with me!

My sexual magnetism escapade did not stop there.

Infact, it started pretty early.

I dreamt of this hot malaysian commercial model. No prize for guessing, coz i don’t intend to tell also. To cut a short story shorter, well, we were talking to each other, and then, when he was about to make a move, Emily walked into my dream, and i was like "WHooa….GET OUT! I don’t get to make out with models often!"

And then i woke up, frustrated.

And i walked out and screamed at Emily for ruining my dream!

I swear i have to get my hormonal level check.

Sheesh!

Whooooo-hoooo!

Ten bucks for feeling what i am feeling right now!

It’s been three years since i last scaled that mole hill at Youth Park, but i surprised myself by making a mad dash to the top in 25 minutes! (well, 15 actually, not counting those 5 minutes break(s) i gave to eddy…first timer mah!)

I gave up hiking the last time because i never had the energy/stamina to finish the entire hike. Usually after my first heart attack (you know, those times when you feel so out of breath, you either wish for a helicopter or a stretcher. If you’re too far gone, you wish for Tobey Mcguire in Spiderman suit [extra tight around the groin] with all those spidey powers), i’d be looking for excuses to roll back down.

Must have been all those three weeks squash sessions.

But Youth Park pun dah cantik. Really. Koi pond, water fountains, jogging trek, skateboarding rink (or whatever), and gym.

It dawned on me that beauty, they still exist.

In spite of the state i’m in.

More hiking tomorrow…wee!~!~!~!

h a l f b a k e r y
Keep out of reach of children.

I so like the taglines from www.halfbakery.com.

I seriously think contemporary advertising needs to incorporate a bit more of vintage commercial art (preferably 60’s-80’s).

Just look at the pic! It’s simple with a vintage edge, yet i can almost taste how good that french fries would be smothered in ketchup!

Now, this is one latest ad i found on the

net.

Hmm…which one would i throw into my shopping cart?

http://paultan.org/archives/2005/07/26/jeremy-clarkson-on-the-proton-savvy/

I found this clip by surprise while researching for Guinness’ Adam King campaign (which sucks by the way).

Well, Savvy ain’t that bad really. I don’t see the need for Clarkson to be so harsh.

Now every Malaysian get to drive and for that, we as a nation are moving forward because we are mobilised. Thanks to Mahathir and his brainchild.

I guess Clarkson tak tengok Proton Juara lagi kot. Now THAT won’t be such an injustice. The thought of that boxed up van alone is enough to ruin my breakfast.

I’m in the middle of downloading Collin Farrell’s sex tape.thank goodness he switched to porn. Not a very Christian thing to do, but rest assured, fans like me wouldn’t be disappointed.

Now, when will Orlando Bloom consider a cameo in Farrell’s next installment?

Here’s the timeline:

8-Jan-2006 = Pledged RM1 billion to Makna

10-Jan-2006 = Complaints started pouring in incessantly, ranging from an enraged florist to his former ’sexually harassed’ employee.

10-Jan-2006 = Hired 10 Nepalese security guard his ridiculously small condominium, unfit for a ‘bilionaire’.

13-Jan-2006 = Wedding certificate said to be forged.

This is a slap in the face for MAKNA and the police force. Why is this Lebanese con man, whom incidently is sporting Crespo’s/Ronald McDonald’s hairstyle, still walking free despite many accusations, lawsuits, forged documents, expired visa and of course, the illegal matrimony?

It’s chilling to think that his 19 year old wife is 3 months pregnant.No prize for guessing what needs to be done to have a bun in the oven right? Urghhh…

I can bet that he’s thinking of escaping, but without a passport and a pregnant wife, it’s a big leap from logic. Besides, Malaysians love him so much now, we’d recognise him at a drop of a hat, no question asked, no classic double take. Some of us even forget how Pak Lah looks like, considering his lack of media appearance of late.

And most recently, MAKNA is still hoping that the pledge would materialise.

MAKNA, please consider betting on 4D. Chances aren’t THAT slim.

Lebanese millionaire, Elie Youssef Najem, landed himself in hot water after pledging approximately RM 1 billion to MAKNA.

Is he a fraud,  or just an honest-to-goodness Lebanese ‘Lord’?

Sure, his cheques bounced, didn’t pay his florist and employees, and only registered two companies instead of 97 as per claimed, but shouldn’t MAKNA or the media checked him out before celebrating his history-making donation to the charity by having a press conference, mock cheque and all?

This don’t get said a lot, but Malaysian’s are too trusting.

And why exposed him this early? Maybe his one billion ringgit cheque won’t get bounced and MAKNA get to have its own hospital and cancer research centre. Expose him ONLY when he doesn’t go thru and  smack him on the head with the memento given to Elie by Datuk Mohd. Farid Ariffin (pic left).

COMMON SENSE, People! All NGOs need as much money as they could gather, and we all know how ‘generous’ Malaysians’ are to their own race.

Now cancer patients have to wait for another billionaire to donate a few of his pennies. When hell freezes over,perhaps.

And boy, his wife sure looks young. Put on some make up, Farinie. I’m sure your husband can afford Dior.

On the issue of Naga DDB’s interview, i had to cancel the interview on account of family issue. Something happened, and i’m not going to talk about it in here.

Overnight, i developed a "love-hate" relationship with my cellphone. God knows i love talking on the phone as much as the next person, but eversince yesterday, i receive thousands of SMS’s asking me why i turn down the interview, it’s not always a request for an interview with the Head of Copy was sent out to fresh graduates, it’s a big opportunity for such a young talent, when a Head of Copy from an international advertising agency wants to interview you, and you don’t turn them down, forcing me to turn off my handphone for two days!

Don’t you guys think i know that already?

I had my reasons. Family,health reason.

If only they knew the hours of uncertainties and tears that i had spent two days ago,the nasal voice i had to put on because my nose was blocked, thanks to all the crying.

When i looked at myself in the mirror, i can’t define the image.

It’s amazing, the way i see life.

It’s just a huge carrot-and-stick game.

I have so much to trade for.

But i don’t know what this will all cost me.

I’d give anything to ace Tarot card reading now.

So, now i got another job interview from Naga DDB, an international advertising in KL.

It’s like, my dream job, you know, to be working as a copywriter attached to an international ad company.

But there’s so much to trade for should the interview is a success.

1) My mom is not sitting well with the idea of me there in KL, working. What to do, i’m anak bongsu.

2) Takut i "culture shock".

3) I’m gonna be alone there in KL, so should anything happen to me, i’m 4 hours away from help.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt i was in this garden, and there was this tree yang its root always trying to tangle me up, drowning me. But in the end, this man came to me and told me the tree will only tangle me when i’m about to make the wrong move, holding me back. If my decision is right, then it won’t do squat.

Symbolic kan? I like that dream. Different from my other idiotic dreams that often includes pop star and faceless strangers.