Female ejaculation : New age feminism or pure porn myth, which translates to total bullcrap?
I spent 20 minutes ’studying’ Cytheria, and she ejaculates. Yeah. Not urine but it was rather clear discharge of fluid.
And then i started thinking, wouldn’t it freak most men out? If suddenly, rough on the bed, the woman was the one who ejaculates?
Next we’re gonna hear that men can carry babies too.
Exes.
What is the deal, really?
A friend called me two hours ago, her voice singing soprano and boiling my ear red ( think steaming hot lobster ) freaking out because she just saw her ex-boyfriend, apparently out on a date, with a new girl, just two days after they broke up.
I wanted to be the friend that i am, listen, dish out a bit of Oprah-ism, dry her tears and maybe kiss her a little (?), but i was so busy peeing in my pants at the thought of this weekend’s presentation, i just couldn’t find a time to fit her in!
And then, while lying in bed, still thinking of excuses to not present that stupid advertisement concept, my train of thoughts made an unschedule stop.
How would i have reacted?
Girls assumed that when we leave a man for an actor (acclaimed, please) or even a busboy , that man would not stop thinking about her, pin over her, singing an out of tune ‘You Were Meant For Me’ in Slippery Senorita (drunk, obviously), send ‘i’m sorry’ postcards, and will not fall in love ever again with another. We wish to see him all beaten and lost, mourning for his lost love.
Undignified.
That was a nice story, really, but i’ve never been single before. Just like my other ‘vagina’ mates, each time a relationship ends, i jump straight to another one. Rebound or not, it beats reading a book at coffee places, alone.
So men, they’re like us too. They date. They live again. The chances of you holding George Clooney’s penis is higher than you seeing your ex in mourning.
They had fun at the wake.
But if it was a nasty break up (infidelity, caught in the bed, snogging, fill in the blanks), then why can’t exes just die and be gone to the land of exes?
Why must they always pop out with a girl who look like she would happily sunbathe next to Miss Universe at their arms and stab at our already broken heart?
Ever wonder which is more grandeur? Miss World or Miss Universe? Why there’s even a need for this beauty pageant dichotomy?
You know, the adulterer always gets the chick.
There should be a rule, a law even. A restraining order. Men should skip country after a break up, be it mutual or otherwise, for the sake of peace.
Because let’s face it, men possesed the supreme ability to move on better than women. I’ve lost count on how many times i’m in a new relationship, yet i couldn’t help thinking who’s in bed with my ex, what position are they in, is she a 36DD, and who does his laundry now that i’ve been booted.
But then again, i think i know nuts about relationship. I’ve been with Arif for 8 years already.
(Disclaimer : the author started the dating game early, hence the experience.)
I hope my heart and my nerves, especially my knees, won’t fail me this Saturday, when i do my ‘Evel Knievel’ bit, standing in front of the board of Directors, in front of 500 plus audience, presenting the winning concept of the advertisement. Arif actually talked his way out of a weekend exam just to be there with me. I want to share this moment with loads more of people, but they are so far away!
Should i unravel by letting Yom present the concept? I’m going to make a donkey out of myself!!
Mam said i’ve reached the end of my rainbow, where pots and pots of luck and wealth strewed across the land. It will be nothing but good luck from here on out for me.
But truly, I think God favors me now.
A couple of weeks ago, i bumped into my cancer stricken uncle. We had a fall out about a year ago, when he was as strong as Hercules. When i first heard of these two tumors the size of 20 cents coins eating away his lungs, i felt sorry. I thought that cancer was not the way to die. The way to say good bye to the world is being surrounded by everyone you have ever loved, your wife, your husband,your sons, your daughters, and your grandchildren, getting a chance to see them for one last time before you pass on.
He didn’t have that either.
I wanted to forget the friction between us, shrugged it off as water under the bridge, but my supersized ego would not allow it.
But when i saw him last week, waiting in line for a bowl of wantan mee, his cheeks were pink, flushed with health, a sign that he was responding to treatment. He looked at me, and he gave a wry smile.
I looked at him, my eyes were blank, my mind debating on what were my actions supposed to be. Should i greet him? Would a nod suffice without betraying my ego?
I walked right past him, like how i would have walked passed a stranger.
At that moment, i wondered what have become of me?
Have i become so cold in my heart that there wasn’t even enough room for forgiveness?
Mam has this rather queer obsession with ‘Natasha’, that malay drama on TV3, every Tuesday night. I can’t stand it. She won’t even let me talk to her, but she insisted on relating the entire past episodes to me during advertisement.
I completed a summarized course of Natasha in under five minutes.
I just don’t get it, apart from the actresses (Fasha Sandha and Fiza Elite), the whole story line is a drag. No one in real world could relate to that.
That aside, had a nice bihun sup dinner with Eddy and Yom down at Seagate. Eddy, please remind me to burn your CD.
Eddy bought me Burger King. Was a tad surprise coz he didn’t buy it for me the first time he was in KL. Furthermore, he remembered the right burger. Shared with Mam last night coz i kept thinking about it, my burger, lying there innocently in the fridge, while i was in my bed. Wanted to gobble it up alone, but it was already midnight.
After two days of working on MAA advertisement for ADWAVE 2006 (an impromptu submission), it was a point to exhale. The final result wasn’t THAT good, but i’m glad it came out better than others. Hopefully it would be good enough to be displayed during Adwave, which would be on April. Can’t wait until this Friday. Going to watch a play at Actor’s Studio Greenhall, which also would be my first. Yeah, i am everything but cultured, but i am not running on empty. Arif just went back yesterday and like always, it wasn’t easy to send him off. Gonna miss his scent, and his laugh - i love his laugh…his eyes seem to sparkle.
Can’t seem to get Jason Mraz’s new single ‘Geek in the pink’ out of my head. It’s like a broken Ipod tune. Sounds so much like an old 80’s song, but i can’t exactly point out what song it was.
Also, i no longer find Spongebob Squarepants funny. And Patrick Starfish is no longer sexy to me. Either the cartoon’s nautical jokes are all dried up, or my frontal gyrus is no longer working.
Someone please remind me to get Billy Crystal’s 700 Sundays. Promised to be a good laugh…by someone i heard talking to himself on the bus.
Well, i decided to cut my hair short.
Not too short tho…i have bad-hair-style-that-makes-me-look-like-Liza-Minelli-a-phobia.
I’m sad, so, yeah, Anger’s second cousin, Depression, pushed me into getting a style makeover.
I was sitting at the back seat in Rizal’s car, en route to the jetty to drop Arif off.
While driving along Macalister Road (in front of St.George’s Girls School), I saw a vintage Alfa Romeo, half as old as the 70 year old driver.
As we drove past the car, I looked back to get a better picture of the car (frontal view), and the street looked to me like a postcard from the past. The car, the old angsana trees, came together and transported me back to the past. It was almost as if the ghosts were resurrected from within the shadows.
I wished i had a digital camera with me. I reckon a picture speaks a thousand words.
Instead, I took a mental picture.
*click*
I bought a dreamcatcher for Dora sempena her birthday, but bitch left it at Coffee Bean. Dora, if you’re reading this, aku dah gantung dia kat bilik aku. File your claim. = )
I got an email today from Grey InterActive, asking me whether i’m still up for writing. Seriously, i have no doubt in myself should i need a job in KL. But since i’m staying put in Penang, Motorola is my next best thing.
Oh, i’m glee…finally i get to put my plans in motion.
Next conversation with God : ask for neverending surprises…Whatever keeps me alive….
=)
Ta for today!
